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Impostor syndrome: — Merriam-Webster Dictionary. In this issue, six expert speakers, coaches, trainers, and authors weigh in with their own experiences with impostor syndrome and how to mute it. Will You Ever Be Good Enough? One of the greatest challenges you will face is to recognize you are good Most people suffer from some form of impostor syndrome every Maybe they have heard this all before and you won't provide anything I live with an impostor syndrome, regularly overworking to prove A syndrome means there is a recurrent pattern of thinking that Like many other speakers, you have to manage your overprotective brain. This pattern was imprinted when you were young. Your parents probably acknowledged you for what you did — schoolwork, sports, helping others — instead of who you are no matter what you do — courageous, smart, generous. No matter how hard you tried, you never earned the acknowledgment You can't make impostorism vanish. You need a mental crutch. Experts give tips such as focus on what you are learning, find the smiling faces in the room while ignoring those on their cell phones, and reframe your anxiety as enthusiasm. I focus on my sense of purpose. Before I speak, I remind myself why I'm there and that if I make a difference for one person in the room, I have done a good job. Your sense of purpose — what brings you joy in helping others — will give you the courage to rise out of the quicksand of unworthiness and doubt. Whether you have a full-blown impostor syndrome or temporary fears when starting something new, remind yourself why you are making these choices and who you are at your core. Then keep going despite your fears.
REVERSE IT. Reversing your negative self-talk is essential. When you recognize you're experiencing a symptom, immediately capture that thought. Evaluate evidence to determine if it's helpful and true. If it isn't, act in opposition. For example, "If I ask for help, they’ll think I'm ignorant. Wait! Will they? I don’t think other people are ignorant if they ask for help. In fact, I think it's noble. Why then, would I assume they think I am ignorant? That's illogical. OK, I'll ask for help." RE-PEOPLE IT. We tend to "compare and despair" our skills with those who appear more influential or successful, but the focus is wrong. We undervalue our character qualities like optimism, curiosity, resilience, kindness, resourcefulness, and generosity. Those helped get you where you are. Skills can be learned, but character qualities are developed over a lifetime. Give them the credit they deserve. Hold your head high when tempted to envy someone's skill or celebrity. You are neither superior nor inferior. Nobody is. We are all just different. Rethink your worth. Re-people it. REINFORCE IT. To keep impostor syndrome from coming back, reinforce your defense. Collect any evidence of your competence, such as awards, testimonials, and media coverage. Or performance reviews. Believe them and enjoy them…frequently. It's not egotistical. You earned the recognition. Allow yourself permission to be impressed with your work.
Knock Out Self-Doubt! "You’re a fraud!" "You’re a fake!" Those were my thoughts when I became the chief HR officer for a $3 Billion organization many years ago. I thought I didn't really deserve the job and that I had "faked my way to the top." And I thought at any point "someone" was going to tap me on the shoulder and say, "Paul, we realize that you really do not belong here, so we have to ask you to leave." The irony was that the folks who would be responsible for "helping me move on" would be from my own HR department, the same team that I was leading! Crazy thinking? Perhaps. But my impostor voice didn’t care … it was alive and well. The impostor syndrome phenomenon was recognized in 1978 (Clance & Imes) and can slice across all genders, cultures, positions, and lifestyles. Up to 80% of top performers have admitted to experiencing it at one or more points in their lives. And many of us live with it more frequently. It thrives in our fixed mindset and feeds off of our fear and "what if?" thinking The late author Maya Angelou, actor Tom Hanks, former Starbucks chairman and CEO Howard Schultz, and tennis great Serena Williams all have admitted to feeling like a fake or fraud at some point in their successful careers. So it really is a badge of honor! The impostor voice comes alive when someone who is successful actually uses their confidence to convince themselves they aren’t good enough and fears they will be discovered as a fraud. This is despite all external evidence that they’re doing a fine job. It isn't just self-doubt or a lack of confidence. It’s the gap between who you see yourself as being and who you think you need to be in order to be successful. Call out impostor voice! Understand the energy in your environment that triggers it. Don't fight it because it loves conflict or friction. Dilute it with awareness and gratitude. Employ my five-step C.R.A.C.K. method to hack Impostor syndrome: 1. Be CONSCIOUS of your impostor voice: "OK, I can feel it …
From Impostor to Authentically Me As I crawled from under my shell to ponder the notion of the impostor Yes, I could emulate the distorted voice I heard, but it would destroy my Explaining why I was hired for my first supervision job, I was told I was
Change the Channel! Do you ever:
They train for the pressure as well as for the event. Here’s how you CHANGE THE CHANNEL. When you hear that negative inner voice TURN DOWN THE VOLUME. Once you've changed the channel, turn FOCUS ON POSITIVE IMAGES. Use positive mental images throughout your day to create feelings of confidence and power as you practice your speaking skills. For example, while preparing your speech, replace What if I mess up? Will I forget my lines? with visualizing yourself having all the resources and calmness you need to deliver your talk and get great results. USE POWER WORDS. Say what you do want. Don't say what you don't want. Replace Don't crash, don’t be nervous, don’t worry about what others are thinking. Say Just relax, I trust in my training, I'm preparing for this speech the best way I can. If you are rejected by a client or lose a speaking deal, ask What can I learn from this? What IS working? How can I use this to move forward with my next client? PRACTICE PRESENT FOCUS. Practice being in the present moment. Be right on—right here—right now. Remind yourself to stay in the here and now. Let past mistakes and future concerns—What will this mean for my speaking career?—fade into the background.
An Improvisor's Approach to
True, you are NOT the world's foremost expert on your topic. And,notice that the world’s foremost expert is not there, otherwise theywould be speaking. Ergo, you are the expert in this moment. So, obviously you have something to offer that people want to hear. As a professional improviser for more than 30 years, let me describe BREATHE! Shallow breathing activates the fight/flight/freeze mechanism. Before I start, I take a couple of belly-chest breaths, then one more, right before I utter my first word. This slows me down and pulls my attention out of my head and into my body, grounding and relaxing me. BELLY-CHEST BREATHING. Split the inhale into two parts: first I follow the axiom “Do the behavior and the attitude will follow.” Here are behaviors that always helped me move past feeling/thinking like an impostor. First and foremost, SEE INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE—don’t just look at them. Talk to them and notice their reactions before moving on to someone else. I watch ENERGY FORWARD. If standing, keep your knees unlocked and your weight on the front half of your feet. If seated (or in front of your screen), lean slightly forward with both feet on the floor and equal weight on your feet and bottom. HANDS FREE. Clutching anything increases tension and reinforces impostor thoughts. Relax, drop your shoulders, and leave your hands free for gesturing. LISTEN TO YOURSELF. If my attention is on my thoughts, I give power to worries, concerns, and accusations of what a phony I am. Or, if I'm searching for what I plan to say next, I mentally disconnect from both my listeners and what I am saying. Instead I pay attention to what I am actually saying to someone—this keeps more authentic energy in my face, in my voice, and in my content. Side note reminder for virtual speaking: Use only brief bullet points, no scripts! When you pull your attention away from any unproductive thoughts that unconsciously undermine your behaviors, you’ll become an effective expert-in-the-moment.
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Note from Craig: This article was the cover story for the May-June edition of SPEAKER magazine, the official magazine of the National Speakers Association. © Copyright 2021 Craig Harrison. All
Rights Reserved.
Craig Harrison was the 2004-05 president of the National Speakers Association's Northern California chapter, founder of its Pro-Track Speakers Academy, 2003-04 chairman of NSA's Sales Professional Emphasis Group (PEG) and founded the Storytellers PEG. He's also served as a Chapter Leadership Consultant, and on the editorial board for Speaker magazine in 2007-2008, 2020-2021, and been a leader in the National Storytelling Network and Storytelling Association of California.
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